What I Want To Do...

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. Romans 7: 15

I know I can’t be the only one who relates to this verse! I do not understand how I can know the good things I want to do, yet still keep doing the things I do not want to do. 

I’ve been thinking this week about leaving a mark.  A few days ago a storm rolled through our area.  It wasn’t severe. There was no hail or tornado warnings or anything like that, but there was a lot of lightning.  We were sitting in our living room when we heard a loud crack, but it had an unusual sizzle to it.  I jumped as the power immediately went out, and I told my husband, “That hit something!”

Turns out, it hit a tree just up the road on the edge of my parents’ yard.  And it definitely left a mark.  The tree top broke off and fell, but the most visible mark is where the bark was blown off.  There is a pale stripe all down the side of the tree. 

This is not the way I want to leave a mark in the world! And yet, I wonder if I haven’t done that at times with my words or actions.  I can think of instances where something I did or something I said – usually in a rash of anger – most likely left a raw and permanent mark behind on the recipient.  I am ashamed to say that the marks I have left have literally scarred others. 

But that is not the kind of mark I want to leave.  I would much rather leave a mark that reminds others of God’s goodness, a mark that encourages and builds up, a mark that creates a positive change.  I’ve been thinking about that this week.

I’ve shared before that I do a lot of walking on the gravel road where we live. My dad pointed out something to me once that I had never noticed myself.  He said that when someone comes down the road in their vehicle driving very slowly, the tracks they leave behind are much more prominent.  So when I come home after having just washed my vehicle, and I creep along to avoid the inevitable dust, the tracks I leave are more noticeable than when I drive a little faster.

I started paying attention to that a little more, and he is absolutely right.  I can even tell it in my rearview mirror.  When I drive slowly, I can very clearly see the tracks I’ve left behind.  Which, of course, has me thinking.  How many times have I blown through my day and failed to slow down enough with the people around me to make a mark?

I know this is not always true, but leaving a positive mark often takes time and intentionality. The people in my life who have left the biggest marks are the ones who spent a lot of time with me. They didn’t rush right past to get on with their day. They slowed down to listen and to speak truth into my life.

It’s a good reminder to me: slow down, pay attention to those around me, listen more, engage more, be available, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me as I interact with others. And maybe I will leave the kind of positive, encouraging marks that I would want to leave.

Father God, forgive me for all the times I have blown right past the opportunities you have given me to leave a positive mark with someone else.  Remind me to slow down, and help me to be intentional about encouraging others as I go.  Transform my heart and mind to make them like yours.