“Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.  Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.”  Ephesians 4:25-27

Ever had a rock in your shoe?  

I have noticed a phenomenon on my morning walks. I don’t have this problem when the road is dry, but when the gravel road is damp from rain, the tiny bits of gravelly grit stick to my shoe soles for a bit. Unfortunately, they don’t hang on for long. As I walk I can feel them flying up and pelting the back of my legs. Inevitably some of that grit will end up finding its way through the smallest spaces between my foot and my shoe, and they will slip inside.

Often, these little pieces of rock are so small that they don’t cause too much trouble.  I can feel them, but they are not causing pain.  I just finish my walk and dump the sandy grit out of my shoes and socks before I go back inside.  But occasionally, a larger piece will manage to slip through that is more bothersome.

I’m not going to lie – I hate to stop my walk to deal with these, so I usually attempt to wiggle or fling my foot around in an attempt to get that irritating rock to a less troublesome spot inside my shoe.  I’m not really sure why I try this.  It almost never works, and if it does, it is a short-lived solution as it always ends up moving back to a place that hurts.  Eventually, I surrender, stop walking, and empty my shoe so that I can then continue my walk pain-free.

There are lots of times in life when people’s words or actions get in my head and rub around there just like a rock in my shoe. Sometimes, these are tiny, little things that are irritating, but I can carry on and ignore them for a while.  But there does come a point where I need to just dump that sandy grit out so that it doesn’t pile up and become a big issue.  Sometimes things people do or say cause minor discomfort and irritation, and I need to be diligent to pray through that and forgive so that I can continue on without carrying that around in my head and allowing it to affect my heart.

Other times, the hurt is not so easy to ignore. I shouldn’t just fling my foot around hoping that painful rock will shift to a less painful spot. It’s going to come back and cause more damage.  I need to stop and remove the rock.

How do we “remove the rock” when it’s pain caused by another person?  Paul says we should speak the truth and be angry without sinning, but we should not hold onto anger or give the devil an opportunity.  We need to communicate clearly and in love and be ready to forgive and ask forgiveness as soon as we can.  I find it crucial to pray and seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance in how to proceed. 

I have a tendency to allow the hurt to remain in my head and in my heart even though I know it’s better to deal with these hurts right away. Maybe not right in the exact moment of the hurt if emotions are high, but nothing good comes from carrying around the hurt, rehashing it and dwelling on it until it consumes my thoughts.

It’s hard to have a conversation where you confront someone about how they have caused you pain. But for me, it is necessary to do it anyway.  I have had experiences where I made myself initiate a conversation and was able to resolve the issue and repair the relationship.  I know it doesn’t always work out like that, but even when it doesn’t, I can give my hurt to God and let Him heal it. I can get it out of my head and find peace.

Do you have a rock in your shoe today? A hurt that you are carrying around and holding onto?  You don’t have to continue in pain and anger. Pray about it. Give it to God. Have the conversation if He leads you to do so. Let God help you resolve it and find peace.

Heavenly Father, help us to recognize when we are allowing hurt and anger to remain in our hearts and minds. Guide us to see the situation clearly. Help us to communicate honestly and in love to restore our relationships, and give us Your peace even when we can’t.