What I Want To Do...

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. Romans 7: 15

I know I can’t be the only one who relates to this verse! I do not understand how I can know the good things I want to do, yet still keep doing the things I do not want to do. 

I’ve been thinking this week about leaving a mark.  A few days ago a storm rolled through our area.  It wasn’t severe. There was no hail or tornado warnings or anything like that, but there was a lot of lightning.  We were sitting in our living room when we heard a loud crack, but it had an unusual sizzle to it.  I jumped as the power immediately went out, and I told my husband, “That hit something!”

Turns out, it hit a tree just up the road on the edge of my parents’ yard.  And it definitely left a mark.  The tree top broke off and fell, but the most visible mark is where the bark was blown off.  There is a pale stripe all down the side of the tree. 

This is not the way I want to leave a mark in the world! And yet, I wonder if I haven’t done that at times with my words or actions.  I can think of instances where something I did or something I said – usually in a rash of anger – most likely left a raw and permanent mark behind on the recipient.  I am ashamed to say that the marks I have left have literally scarred others. 

But that is not the kind of mark I want to leave.  I would much rather leave a mark that reminds others of God’s goodness, a mark that encourages and builds up, a mark that creates a positive change.  I’ve been thinking about that this week.

I’ve shared before that I do a lot of walking on the gravel road where we live. My dad pointed out something to me once that I had never noticed myself.  He said that when someone comes down the road in their vehicle driving very slowly, the tracks they leave behind are much more prominent.  So when I come home after having just washed my vehicle, and I creep along to avoid the inevitable dust, the tracks I leave are more noticeable than when I drive a little faster.

I started paying attention to that a little more, and he is absolutely right.  I can even tell it in my rearview mirror.  When I drive slowly, I can very clearly see the tracks I’ve left behind.  Which, of course, has me thinking.  How many times have I blown through my day and failed to slow down enough with the people around me to make a mark?

I know this is not always true, but leaving a positive mark often takes time and intentionality. The people in my life who have left the biggest marks are the ones who spent a lot of time with me. They didn’t rush right past to get on with their day. They slowed down to listen and to speak truth into my life.

It’s a good reminder to me: slow down, pay attention to those around me, listen more, engage more, be available, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me as I interact with others. And maybe I will leave the kind of positive, encouraging marks that I would want to leave.

Father God, forgive me for all the times I have blown right past the opportunities you have given me to leave a positive mark with someone else.  Remind me to slow down, and help me to be intentional about encouraging others as I go.  Transform my heart and mind to make them like yours.

Be Like a Dandelion?

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4

Is it weird to say I think I want to be like a dandelion?  I know most people look at the dandelion as the peskiest of weeds disturbing the beauty of their manicured lawns, but I have come to admire much about the dandelion.

First, their cheerful yellow blooms are attractive.  I enjoy seeing that bright pop of yellow amid the sea of green grass, and they really do catch your eye. Nothing is so beautiful to me as an offering of a handful of these yellow blooms in the fist of a child given to show love to someone else. It’s heart-warming to be on the receiving end of that exchange.

Once that yellow bloom has gone to seed, many people view the resulting puffball as an eyesore.  However, isn’t it amazing how many seeds it produces?  The dandelion has a very effective means of scattering seeds far and wide. As believers, we are called to scatter the seeds of our faith.  And like the dandelion, we are not to concern ourselves over where that seed lands or what it produces.  We should be faithful to share our faith as we go through our days, allowing God to do the rest.

But I think the most admirable trait of the dandelion is how resilient it is. I have flower beds across the front of our home that I try to tend each year.  Every spring, I spend a few hours cleaning out the beds for a new season.  I have to pull a lot of weeds, typically.  Some weeds are not difficult to pull out.  One tug or twist can uproot many weeds, especially if you get to them quickly after they’ve sprung up.  I have not found that to be true of the dandelion.  It seems to me like the dandelion must grow its taproot immediately!  The dandelions that have sprouted in my flowerbeds remain.  I pull the leaves and stems and as much of the root as I can get, but within a week or so, they are back.

I did a quick google search to learn a bit more about the dandelion’s root system.  The dandelion’s taproot typically reaches 6-18 inches deep, but it can grow as long as 10-15 feet! This strong taproot helps the plant endure even in drought conditions.  And the root is regenerative, as anyone like me who has tried to pull one out of a flower bed can attest.  Apparently, if you leave even one inch of the root in the ground, the plant can regrow.  No wonder I have trouble getting them out of my flowerbeds.

This is why I have come to admire the dandelion. This persistence that they have to grow no matter where they sprout is astounding.  Even when they sprout in the crack of a sidewalk or a hard, rocky ground, they seem to be invincible.  I want to be more like that. I want my faith to be as deeply rooted as the dandelion. 

How do we develop such a strongly rooted faith?  Time spent studying scripture is important as is time spent in prayer learning to share our hearts with God and also learning to hear His voice.  Spending time with other believers, worshipping together and encouraging one another is part of the recipe also.  But as Paul points out in Romans 5:3, suffering and trials are tools God uses to build perseverance and character in us. That’s not something most of us welcome. It’s definitely not something we ask for. But it is what drives our roots deep and helps those roots to grow.

Have you ever noticed that dandelions sometimes bloom at the end of a long stem that stands tall and other times they bloom very close to the ground? If they grow in our yard but get cut off by the lawnmower, it seems to me like they adapt and keep their blooms close to the ground until they are ready to seed.  The puffball of seeds always stands tall.  It’s almost like they know that lawnmower can be used to spread those seeds!  And of course, it does just that!  

So yeah, I want to be more like the dandelion.  I want to be a bright spot in the day for those I encounter, encouraging them and lifting their spirits.  And I want to be deeply rooted and firmly established in my faith, but also standing tall in the face of difficulty and adversity, knowing that even the things meant to harm me make me stronger and help me to share the truth of God’s great love.

Lord, help me to remember these lessons whenever I see a dandelion.  Help me to do my part to grow closer to You each day and become firmly rooted in You so that I can use every opportunity to show others your love and truth. 

Turn Your Head

The LORD came, stood there, and called as before, “Samuel, Samuel!” Samuel responded, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”  I Samuel 3:10

Hello again!  I can hardly believe it, but it has been five years since I posted a devotion here.  That’s a long time!  Honestly, I wasn’t sure I would ever start this up again.  I started doing this in August of 2018, when I was meeting weekly before our school day started with a group of teachers for a devotion and prayer time.  I used this blog to write a devotional thought each week for that group, which I shared with them (and anyone else who wanted to read it) through social media and email.

Then in 2020, during the COVID shut-down, my posts were suddenly blocked for somehow going against the community policies. I wasn’t allowed to share the link to my blog site anymore.  (And I still don’t really understand why!)  But I stopped writing the posts.  School was closed, so I couldn’t meet with my group weekly either.  I allowed myself to be pulled away to other things.

It’s funny, though, how those blocked posts popped up in my memories recently!  Why would a blocked post show up as a memory!? Well, I guess because God wanted me to see it and remember.  It’s weird, but God has been tugging at me to pick this up again.

I’ve missed writing these each week.  Although I know I was supposed to share them with others, they were also important in my spiritual life.  So I hope you will find these each week and that they might be a blessing to you as well, but even if no one else sees them, God uses this to speak to my heart.  And I need to hear from Him – which simply means I need to do a better job of listening to Him.

We are having a beautiful spring season right now.  The flowers are blooming profusely; the grass is green and vibrant; and the temperatures have been delightfully mild.  I do a lot of walking for exercise all year round, but I’ve really enjoyed getting outside for my walks lately because of this beautiful season. 

When I walk, sometimes the wind is blowing directly into my face.  It’s crazy how much noise that wind makes blowing past my ears.  It will completely block sounds from any other source - including approaching vehicles.  Our little gravel road where I walk is not a busy thoroughfare, but I have been startled a time or two when a vehicle came from behind me when the wind was blowing at me. Typically, you can hear the crunch of gravel and the motor noise long before a vehicle gets close.  However, in those moments with my face turned squarely into the wind, I could not hear those vehicles until they were right on me.

I have learned that when the wind is blowing right at me like this,  it is much safer to turn my head slightly to one side or the other.  Angling my ears like this prevents the overwhelming noise of the rushing wind from blocking out everything else.  I can hear the birds singing and the frogs peeping, the water gurgling through the little brook, and, most importantly, any approaching traffic.

When the memory of my blocked blog posts popped up, I went to my blogspot page and started reading.  I was reminded of so many little lessons God had whispered to me during the everyday moments of my life.  Little incidents and interactions that taught me something I needed to learn jumped out at me each week.  Scripture verses connected to them appeared in my daily readings, Sunday School lessons, and sermons.  

It occurred to me that I wasn’t hearing those little lessons each week anymore, but I know that it wasn’t because God had stopped speaking to me.  No, it was because I had stopped angling my ears toward Him.  The rushing wind of my busy schedule has been drowning out His voice.

So here I am again, writing out a little lesson God gave me and sharing it with anyone who might want to read it in hopes that they, too, might give God just a few moments where their ears are angled to Him.  I plan to write one post each week again, so long as God keeps giving me those lessons to share, and I pray that they will bless you also.  May we all learn to keep the ears of our hearts angled to God so that we can better hear His voice.

Father God, the rushing wind of our busy lives makes it hard to hear You at times.  Thank You for the way You speak Your Truth to our hearts, and thank You for patiently pursuing us even when we forget to listen.  Remind us to turn our ears toward You, to look for You, to listen for Your voice, all throughout our days. 

Is It Enough?

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Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. 1 Corinthians 4:2

Now that we’re all staying home, I find myself at a bit of a loss. I am worried about all of my students who are not getting the reading lessons that I feel like they need. There really isn’t much I can do about the schools being closed, but am I doing enough to help my students?

I spent the first week and a half at home wondering what to do for my students. Should I try to contact families and see if any of them want to try to do remote learning lessons? I know that many of the families in our district do not have reliable high-speed internet that makes this kind of lesson possible. Should I offer it anyway? Will any of the parents be interested, or are they already overwhelmed with the school work they are trying to do each day? Is it fair to those who can’t do it to offer it to those who can?

I was talking to my parents about this dilemma. My dad basically said, “Seems like you should look at it like you are helping those that you can help.”

I know there are many teachers out there right now feeling down and discouraged because they can’t help every student in their class right now like they normally would. There are also parents out there who feel like they are not helping their own children enough with all the school work. There are probably many healthcare professionals with limited supplies who are feeling like they are not doing enough.

I feel like this verse from 1 Corinthians chapter 4 is a good reminder for me. It says that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. But it does not say that those who have been given a trust must produce results on their own!

I can contact my students’ parents. I can offer to help. I can share information about resources available to them right now. But I cannot force them to respond. I cannot make them take advantage of my offers of help. And no one else expects me to do more than offer what I can.

In our spiritual walk, it is the same. God calls us to be obedient to Him. He is very clear in the Bible about how we should treat others with love and compassion, how we should humbly serve and pray for others, how we should share truths from His word, how we should seek Him above all else, and more. We are expected to be obedient in all the things He has taught us through His word. But we are not responsible for any specific outcome of that obedience.

We can share the truth, but if people reject the truth, we have still been faithful. We are to be faithful with what we have been given, faithful to do what we can do. We do not have to conjure up gifts we have not been given. We do not have to create any effect by our own efforts. We are expected to obediently do what we can and to trust God to create the results in His perfect ways and His perfect timing.

Let me encourage you tonight, friends. Be faithful with what you’ve been given, do what you can do, and trust God to take care of the rest.

Father God, we are discouraged because of our current situation. We feel unable to do the things we would normally do to help others around us. Help us to be creative in finding new ways to serve others, but help us to trust You more to take care of the results. Help us to be faithful. Lead and guide us so that we clearly understand what we can and should do to be obedient to You. Thank You for the opportunities You give us to be faithful and to see You work in ways we never dreamed possible. Give us a glimpse of that this week, Lord. Help us to see You at work all around us. May You receive glory and honor and praise for all You do!

Peace in Uncharted Waters

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4-7

I didn’t write anything last week to post here. There has been so much going on in our world due to the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak, and it has thrown me, honestly. There are more questions than answers. Suddenly, we are all staying home in an effort to contain this virus. Although I do love to be at home, it is not our normal routine. It has been shocking and completely unexpected.

And it is quiet here at home. Right now my kids are still in bed, so I am the only one up. I hear my clock ticking. I hear the birds chirping outside. The clicking keys of my keyboard seem very loud!

But in my mind, it is not quiet. My mind is a raucous cacophony of questions and worries and whiny complaints, of unsettled fears and even anger. Although there is definitely concern about the illness and whom it might affect in my life, I am not as worried about getting ill as I am about the effects of this period of social distancing. I worry about our finances; I worry about my kids missing school for an extended time; I worry about my students not getting the instruction I want to be giving them. I am saddened and even angry, at times, by the thoughts of all the canceled activities and events that my kids can’t participate in. As a mom of a senior in high school, those thoughts hit me really hard sometimes. This is not how his senior year was supposed to go.

My school administrators keep saying that we are in "uncharted waters."  And I think we all feel like that. There are so many unknowns that it overwhelms me. How long will this last? How will I teach my students from home if this continues? Will there be enough groceries when I next go to the store? Will someone I love become seriously ill?

I’ve been trying to get out and walk every day, which is difficult with all the rain this week. But due to all that rain, the ditches and little brooks along my walk are full of running water. And in the quiet of my solitary walks, I listen to its bubbling and rushing. I watch it as it flows along. It’s a peaceful sound to me, a calming sight. It’s a reminder that there are seasons when the water rushes, but other seasons where the water slows. It makes me think of the shushing sounds I have always made to calm my crying children. “Shhh. It’s ok. You’re alright. I’m here. I’ve got you. Shhh.”

And I need the reminder that God is still here. The Lord is near. And He is still in control. He is bigger than all of this. He is the unmoveable rock in the middle of the rushing water. He is not shaken or surprised by anything. He is at work even when I can’t see what He is doing. He has a plan, and His good and perfect will always prevails.

And because I know these things with certainty, I have His peace. Yes, I may experience difficulties. Struggles and challenges will come along in this life -- maybe even in this season right now. But He is with me always, and I don’t need to be anxious. I don’t need to be afraid. And when those feelings rise up and swamp my mind, I can go to Him. I can fill my mind with thoughts of His love and His power instead of my fears, and He will give me peace.

I pray that you know Him like this, that you, too, can turn to the Lord and find His peace. If you read the next few verses in Philippians 4, Paul tells us to fill our minds with truth, with thoughts that are pure and good. That’s how I battle against the fear that the enemy tries to plant in my mind -- a mind filled with God’s truth and goodness leaves no room for fear. But I have to intentionally fill my mind with pure and noble and praiseworthy thoughts. These are the truths that bring me peace. I pray that you know that peace today, too.

Father God, we need You. We need Your presence and Your stability. We have peace because of Your faithfulness. We know that You are in control even in the midst of so many uncertainties. Help us to fill our minds with Your truth and turn over all our anxieties to You. Thank you for giving us Your peace. We pray that You will be merciful and heal and sustain our nation and our communities and that You will bring solutions quickly to end the spread of this virus. And in the meantime, help us to trust You and to be faithful to the work You have called us to do -- that we would be a light in the darkness and use each opportunity to fill the world with Your love.

Pressing On!

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

We have made it to the end of third quarter in my school building. That means that we are definitely on the downhill slide to the end of the school year, but it also means that many of us are feeling tired. Tired of fighting the same battles with our students day after day. Tired of the same behaviors from our students. Tired of the same attitudes, the same arguments, the same exhausting cycles, the same difficulties and learning challenges.

How many times can I say the exact same thing?! How many days do I have to have the same conversation!? How many ways can I teach this particular skill?

Honest truth here: some days it is so very tempting to just give up--to quit fighting that fight, to stop attempting to create change, to move on to a new skill even though the old one still isn’t mastered.

I have one particular group that has been a bit discouraging to me this year. I am teaching them some very foundational reading skills, and we are at the point where we have finished one step and assessed their learning. And they didn’t meet the minimum requirements necessary to go on to the next step.

It’s discouraging. I want to push on and keep teaching them new things, but they haven’t really mastered the “old” things yet. I know it’s not really best for them to move on, but I would really like to move on.

In my position, I sometimes have the unique opportunity to work with the same students for multiple years. I have a student with whom I have been working for almost four school years now. When we started our work, this student was really struggling to read even the most basic materials. When I started with this student, another school employee asked me if I really thought this student would learn to read. This employee made the comment that this student may be one who just never really learns to read.

But I disagreed. I said, with conviction, that I did not believe that was true. I believed this student could and would learn to read, but I admitted even then that I knew it was not going to be easy, and it was not going to be quick.

And it wasn’t. We have worked really hard for the last three and three-quarters school years and even over the summers. And we are not done even now. But today I saw some test results that showed big gains in this student’s reading level! I was so excited!

And I needed that reminder today. I needed to remember that sometimes the results are long in the making, that some goals take a long time to reach and cannot be rushed, and that you absolutely cannot reach a goal if you give up along the way.

I have no doubt that everyone reading this post has some sort of situation that has us exhausted and discouraged and doubting whether it will ever change. Maybe you are a teacher and you are worn out with a particular student situation. Maybe you are a mom struggling to keep on with a challenge from your own children. Maybe it’s a work situation - something with a boss or a co-worker. Maybe it’s a family situation - a sibling or a parent. Maybe it’s a spouse that has you worn slick. Maybe it’s something else altogether.

Whatever it is, don’t give up! Press on! Keep seeking God’s wisdom to know how to deal with the situation. Keep asking for resolution in prayer. Keep doing your best to do the things you know you need to be doing. Don’t give up. God is still working - in you and through you. Press on towards the goal! God is with you!

Father God, thank You for Your presence in the midst of the challenges of life. Show us more of You this week. Be with each one reading this right now and grant them wisdom in their difficult situations. Give them a glimpse of the impact they are making to encourage them this week. Grant us the strength to persevere when we feel like giving up. Help us, like Paul, to press on to take hold of that for which You took hold of us. Thank You for Your faithfulness and Your never-failing love!

Applying the Lessons

12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose. Philippians 2:12-13
In my small group instruction each day, I teach my students some very basic strategies to help them read words accurately. One of the strategies I teach my older students is how to divide a longer, unknown word into syllables. It can be quite a tedious process to teach this breaking of a word into its syllables because there are several steps, and there are some points where they need to learn some knowledge about words and their parts in order to complete the process successfully.

But what I know is that if they take the time to learn this process really well, so that they can do it independently, it will help them so much! So I take the time to teach them, and they participate each day in the process. And when they are in my room and that is what we are focusing on, they have it. They can do it.

But here’s an important part that many of my students seem to miss. In order for this strategy to be helpful to them, they have to use it all the time -- when I’m in the room with them, and when they are reading in their classrooms on their own or at home. Knowing how to do this doesn’t help them one bit if they don’t actually follow through and use it on their own. And it is very frustrating to watch a student struggle to read a word that you know they have the ability to read, if they would just apply what they’ve been taught.

There are a few of these older students that I see at two different times during the school day -- once for grade-level reading instruction and once for specific work in word study/phonics and fluency. And it always amazes me that when they are reading from their grade-level reading textbooks, they rarely apply the things they are learning during our word study/phonics lessons. They will get stuck reading a word, and I will prompt them to use the strategies they’ve learned. That’s when I usually get a big sigh and an eye roll.

So when I read these verses from Paul during a Wednesday night Bible study time at church, I was instantly convicted. Paul was reminding the people of the church at Philippi to continue to obey in the things they had learned when Paul was with them, even though he was no longer there. Just because the man who was teaching them was gone physically from their presence, they had no excuse not to continue to live out what he had taught them.

God’s Holy Spirit is constantly teaching me, too, and I am quite certain there are many times He is frustrated with me for not using what He has been teaching me. When I am sitting at my computer typing a devotion, when I am studying my Bible at home or at church, when I am teaching my Sunday School class and discussing the scriptures with others, the lessons seem so clear! But when I walk into my day, when I leave the church building, when the Bible is left on my bookshelf while I go “do life,” how easy it is to forget to use what I have been taught!

God has a good purpose for us.  He wants us to fulfill that purpose.  He teaches us and speaks to us to help us along the way, but at some point we have to put those lessons into action.  If I'm going to experience life as God intends -- if I want to be a blessing to someone else along the way as God has planned ahead, then I must obey in the things He has taught me.

Lord, forgive me for so often doing just what my students do - so often I fail to apply what You have taught me when I am in the midst of my days. Thank You for Your gentle reminders and constant patience with me!